jiggaaa

dont forget that boy told you

sooooo, jay-z was in toronto tonight!! HOLY!! and of course i had a date with my teevee to watch him. there was an hour countdown with so many of his videos, and THENNN the real him, in MY city! it was the coolest thing in the world. i wish i coulda been there. and then andrea was telling me that her sister gets to go to his AFTER PARTY tonite. and she says it like its nothing and happens everyday! like shit..... i almost died. i dont think anyone understands my live for him! hahaha anyways.

this past week has been fun! really relaxing although this morning i was running on about four hours of sleep. i was determined to just stay awake all day too but at around two thirty i lost it and fell into one of the deepest sleeps i've ever had! lasted till about six thirty. i had dreams of harry potter and ex boyfriends... haha but i'm all good and awake now! even though i should be getting some more sleep cause i'm off to bonnie dune tomorrow. hahah well, not exactly, but i'm going to a cottage. for a week.... should be fun? lets hope so!

things i'm excited for. hardxcore day, and the like. seeing andre! grocery shopping. 21-28. the day we finally buy ringolos? haha. the used/alexisonfire/underoath. lifeonjuliets show downtown. shopping. ummm my birthday? hahah! things i'm not excited for.
august nineteenth.

I'm a hustler homey, you a customer crony

Got some, dirt on my shoulder, could you brush it off for me?

self absorbed

faceless

take my endless night walks with you

but i know that you cant

i'm just as tired as anyone else

and you,

you're the worst one of us all

the night you thought you took everything away

you forgot one thing

your hearts still in my back pocket

and i,

i crush it everday

so just take it out on me

break my mirror, use your hands

i know that you can

give me a reason to feel ugly

i know that you can

get out the pictures, burn them fast
i know that you can

i know that you will

you're into short-term satisfaction

so come on in

i'm feeling better and better every minute

and i,

i fake it every time

so just take it out on me

BLUE&YELLOW

nite time counts too

touch

the brokenness inside

as hope and less collide

now nothing is real

sometimes when i'm at my most insane i feel like i am one big run on sentence where i can never get a break to take a breath or even stop for a short time to think about what i'm doing or saying or thinking it just keeps going until i am blue in the face and begging for air i've decided thats how it feels

oh my god there is the biggest bug in this room right now and since the screen is the only light on it keeps screaming into it at full speed and i think i am acutally scared of it i dont want to smack it in case it decides to retaliate cuz seriously its big

everyone should hire The Castle next time they are bored and want to have a good laugh cuz really its sucha funny movie, believe me

daddd

hold nothing back

ps; my stomach makes really loud noises
and sometimes they hurt,
kinda like right now...

attention

princess aurora

[you have my attention]

haven't updated in a long while... things have been pretty awesome though, i'd say. but as alot of you know i don't have a very good memory so i'll stop myself while i'm ahead with the whole 'explaining what i've been up to' paragraph.

dear nora: ummmm, HEY!! ? hahah

but really, summer is going by way too fast. soon jon will be back in BC, nora will be living back in London, and IIII will be in grade twelve, back in my retarded school. BAH, what to do? i dont even know why i'm thinking about this right now because i still have alot of exciting things awaiting to happen this summer. OH well.

oh yeah and harry potter is my life.

good day.

ps; if you havent noticed the picture link, NOTICE IT NOW.

lizard babies

hello dinosaur

so we have nine of these dino's currently running around our house. i am just waiting for them to TAKE OVER! cuz theres millions more coming!! MILLIONS I TELL YOU! ahhhhh. what is going to become of me? i'm living in a jungle! i loveit...

anyways. hahah i slept for one whole hour last nite. GO ME! and i saw charlie and the chocolate factory and it ROCKED MY WORLD! i'm going crazy as you can see. i'm currently living off a coffee, piece of apple and chips... peace&looooovin

if i had a shotgun, know what i'd do?

i'd point that shit straight up at the sky

and shoot heaven on down to you

ps; aaron i miss you already

sleep

banishment!? be merciful, say 'death';

you know it's bad
when you can't even sleep at night
because all you can think about
is when you'll dream again

and i think if you just sing to me
and tell me no lies
stay by my bedside
till i close my eyes
you can see all my mistakes
and my breaks in the daylight
please just stay with me
be with me at night

i'll fight just to prove
that i haven't given up on myself
but all i can think about
is when i'll dream again

and i think if you just sing to me
and tell me no lies
stay by my bedside
till i close my eyes
i'll show you all my mistakes
and my breaks in the daylight
please just stay with me
be with me at night

as for war, i'm makin it
with myself, my mind
and my eyes, tonight
i just want to sleep
sing me my lullaby

-me

today i hung out with the coolest person ever. yes, as surprising as that sounds, it was nora. we made some pretty HOT bracelets and watched our favourite movie! Romeo&Juliet kicks every other movies ass. anyways it was just good times even though i sadly dont have any pictures to show. [man we really need to work on that] "nora, if I stress you out, how do you hang out with anyone else!?"

there's been alot of crazy things going on in my head lately. i really dont even have the energy to get them past my head and out of my mouth, or even on paper/a screen. i'm kind of scared to, like they are gonna come back and bite me in the ass one day or something. talking to one of my friends tonite who was question crazy really got me going, too. i think at the end of my life i just want to be known as someone who people know they can come to me for anything, and that i would do almost anything to help them out. it may not seem like i am that kind of person but i really am. i live off of making other people happy and letting them know that they do mean something to me. it makes me feel good knowing that i can make someone else feel good about themselves. and sometimes i think it gets in the way of making sure i myself am actually happy. i'm gonna stop, i'm going way off into crazyland.

peace&gnite

pate

yesterday was quite the adventurous day...
i have an announcement to make everybody. [jon, i think your gonna like this]
I, WENT, GOLFING!! hahaha yes yes nicole had a golf club, thingy, in her hands!! i didnt exactly play a game i guess but i still went to the driving range and hit some past the 100 sign thing. i think i did pretty well! haha and it was also extremely hot out. i saw the movie hide & seek and it was pretty scary actually. i love dakota fanning, people! and i think shes the hottest thing arounnnd [haha aaron]
and to top the day off, on the way home at like two in the morning, i get a speeding ticket! my first one. and it was probably one of the scariest things ever. and then the police man didnt even call me by my REAL NAME after spending over a half an hour looking at my license and writing me the ticket, he calls me melissa. what an idiot! anyways, i'm so not doing that again... speeding that is. heh heh
i am now realising i have nothing relevant to say. except for that my grandma is here from the states and she is good jokes, i'm lovin her! and i'm in the craziest situation right now... oh well. haha peace till next time.

edit; i have this shitcam that i got like back in grade eight or so and it fully stopped working lately. but today it decided to be nice! ... for about five minutes. then it had enough and shut down. but i took some still...

"its night but i can't stay asleep like you do, straight through till morning when you pour my coffee and say, baby all that caffeine causes bad dreams where all your anxieties are unleashed."

-conor

old times ouch

the morning breaks with no sunlight on my window

so today nicole was quite alone... i had no plans and no motivation to make any, so i had a chillin day at home. started a new book, fell asleep reading it, watched oprah, i also took down at least a hundred pictures from my wall that have been there for FAR too long, eh nora? haha so yeah they are so old!! i picked out a few to scan and put on here cuz lookin at them all brought back some good times.

haha oh trish. grade nine

kaitlin foley and i once ruled the world

look at our hair! damn

ohmy goodness look at how long our hair is. and we thought our juices were cool? haha

pimpin me and trish

lena is so cute! ahh i'm just a loser

haha! my favourite ever. andrea being the king and me bein her size. ohh too good

i also did something pretty gross, i put my old earings back in, that are about four sizes too big. there was some blood and i liked it? haha i dont know whyyy i did it but i DID! oh well, i am crazy. the good news is that tomorrow and the rest of the week i will be busy, so i wont be bored enough to do anything else crazy like that.

peace all.

but if i built you a city, would you let me?
would you tear it down?
but there you go for the last time
i finally know now what i should have known then
that i could still be ruthless
if you let me

partay

and i think i, i could use a little break. today was a good day.

+ racing to ryans, i so won
+ staying up ALL nite
+ coming out of the tent way different than we were going in
+ dee, my wife. acutally she deserves a whole list on her OWN!
+ joel had no shirt on all nite?
+ deandra bell has beautiful teeth, we're gonna trade
+ mine and fenns heart to heart talks
+ sleeping in my car, with rebekah
+ "EVERYTHING josh says is sooo right!!" eh guys?
+ i fell asleep with joel sitting on me, yes my legs still hurt
+ sitting on the bench with erik, josh, and joel on my lap
+ falling OFF the bench and spilling all over deandra
+ andrea hugged me and got me all wettttt
+ sketchy noises from the tents
+ i lost my led zeppelin cd
+ vanessa lost her tank top
+ michael stinks at climbing roofs
+ dee and her crazy cam

the list could go on, i am telling you for days. hahah it would just bore those who don't know what i'm talking about. but happy birthday to josh, erik and leah. who won't even read this.

chloe & i two nights ago

London bridges falling down

i am slipping into the airwaves, the static's where you'll find me

i'm sure some of you have seen these photo's already, or at least heard about what happened today, but i just needed to say something about it for those who aren't as informed. this morning there were four explosions in London. three on the Underground, and also one on a double-decker bus. this has led to thirty seven deaths and the injuries of hundreds of other innocent citizens.
i read matt good's blog to see his thoughts on this situation because i know he almost always has good ones, and i'd have to agree with what he's said. we shouldn't have to be scared to take a bus or a subway to work, shopping, and just anywhere. but this is what war and terrorism has lead us to be. our world has brought itself to live in fear and it seems like we have no motivation to just step back and see the real problem, whatever you might think that to be... but fighting back in the very same way they are 'terrorising' people, isnt going to do anyone any good. if we call it terrorising when they do it to us then what are we doing to them? exactly...
it really makes me think, and so far this question has bugged me; how come so many die in other third world countries from bombing and other things alike but it doesn't even make the news let alone the front page? it just doesn't seem right to me.

anyways... that is just my rant for today. i'm excited for the rest of this weekend and next week!! i got a certain party to go to, a concert with MIA! and a special adventure to accomplish. should be good! oh and andrea i miss you dammit. hahah

peace

makewar

they constantly change

the rain is chilled as it touches my shoulders

my mind doesn't even care at the moment

i wrap my arm around your waist for a quick goodbye

i'm waiting for the first day of my life

i let my legs loose and fall into the drivers seat

my right foot hurts from the long day

but it is taking me home

the rain sounds painful on my windshield
my eyes itch from staying up too late
i sing every word of the song that is playing
i'm waiting for the first day of my life
and i am stuck inside a chunk of metal
where i feel more free than anywhere else
and it is taking me home

i hardly sleep anymore. i really cant most nights. i either just let myself stay up, or lie in bed uncomfortably for hours but then i get really annoyed. most of the time i dont know what to do.

andrew mcmahon was recently diagnosed with lukemia, hes the lead singer of something corporate and his side project that i really like called jacks mannequin. he cant even sing and has to sit in the hospital for a few months instead of playing his shows. imagine that? not being able to do what you love and are supposed to be doing because of something like cancer. i added a link in the sidebar, you can support the pediatric cancer research foundation there.

summer is treating me well!
peace.

mhm sublime

allo all. i've been keeping myself pretty busy lately and i'm glad. i dont exactly have a job so its always a scare that i will have nothing to do in my day, but i am happy to say that its been an awesome week for the most part. today i chilled downtown with two of my best friends and i couldnt of asked for more. it was good times!

i get into these moods randomly where i'll just be so out-of-it and actually not know whats going on or whats being said in the conversation. i'll come back to someone looking at me as if i'm supposed to answer them, and i just barely get a 'huh?' out. i get so caught up in everything else or start thinking too hard, and it looks like i really dont want to be where i am, but really i'm just not there in my head. i feel bad sometimes for the people i am with when i'm like that. i find alot of times that i think alot, and dont say enough out loud. i would rather listen for some reason. i like to sit and listen and agree when i can. sometimes i dont like that. i went into one of those moods today when i wish i could have snapped out of it. then the rain didnt make it any better. usually i love rain but today's rain was just a little depressing. anyways;

i'd have to say that the quote of the weekend has got to be "so how about them piramids?" haha honestly, funny.

love is, what i got. it's within my reach.

mm

(our evening)

peace&love&happiness to you all

today is july first... well, well, i spent it with AARON! cuz she is my love. its crazy how time goes by and how much shit changes in one year. i am a total different person its insane. we didnt spend this night looking at fireworks, or lying in the grass, or that type of shit. but it was still grand. i hope all of you had an amazing canada day! no matter where you were...
anyways. we are out to go party with...

"and the air is hot, and my SKIN peels off, and i never thought..."

rain rain

rain rain RAIN!

and i left my car windows open...

-cole.

sickwithaaron

last night randy graduated along with many others that i've known since i was a child. that was cool! i also got my hair cut, its short compared to before... boo! haah but yeah its all good. i've been feeling faint lately and it sucks, honestly why is it so damn HOT?! i cant handle it most days... being outside is just too much. but i love the summer and having no school! except for noras dissappeard lately...? jeeez. today i went to aarons because we are both sick losers and all we want to do is complain so we complained to each other about our pains. which made us sound alot like old ladies but we didnt care! we must share the same blood, honestly!
tonight i was very very itchy so i decided to just sit in water. i.e., take a bath... it was the most relaxing thing i could have ever done. i just lied there and thought about right now. not last year [which i have been doing alot lately], not next week, but right now. i also thought about what right now would be like if certain things were different. like if i was still dancing i would have been at a recital and leaving next week for nashville... and other things like that.
i thought about writing so i brought my notebook with me but realized shortly that i didnt really need to or want to, i just wanted to think. it was good to do because i havent done it like that in a while but it also made me realize some things that i... i dont know!
it also woke me up, hence me being here at one something in the morning. i guess that isnt unusual. it did cure my itchiness though so i will be going to bed now. i've been updating alot lately... boo. gnite...

grammas

treee

me and aaron are

i got lost in a forest of feelings so grand, that i stood there in awe and watched the sun reflect veins onto my skin, from the trees cold branches waiting for their color to come back... and i dreamt about your hands and how they hold these arms so tight and never let go. i let myself be vulnerable to the nature i'm in, and became a blank canvas to be used for whatever the sun wishes. now the sun sets and the shadows disappear and i feel new and clean and invisible.

"i, feel sick to my stomach." - me

la la

"where are we?
what the hell is going on?
the dust has only just began to fall
crop circles in the carpet
sinking, feeling
spin me around again
and rub my eyes
this can't be happening"

-imogen heap


ps; watch i <3 huckabees

seals

look at how gorgeous they are

but... right how as we speak these beautiful baby seals are being tortured. the Canadian government is allowing a hunt killing up to 350,000 of them. statistics say that this is more than one third of what is being born, and the largest number of seals killed since at least half a century. am i the only one that thinks this is wrong? i mean, for me its not just the fact that they are fully being used for their... skin. its just the way these heartless men can whack them in the head without a second thought. am i crazy for thinking that they are crazy? how is our government allowing this?

on a lighter note. today i went to school even though i wasnt supposed to! haha but it was to finish yearbook so its all good. in general i guess i had a good day... its almost done and that is very very exciting for us yearbook nerds. !! oh and i also jazzed up toris blog so take a look at that. [i should get a prize for advertisment!]

its also World Refugee Day. we have a wonderful home to go back to every night, they dont. think about it.

i wish you all a goodnite...

"now i can't breathe. no, i can't sleep. i'm barely hanging on..."

weekend with aaron

this weekend has been a rockin good time. school is officially over for me, no more worries. on saterday aaron the boy and i hung out, and we had a crazy good time!!
look at pictures HERE! its a must! haha theres alot i mite add... and this is just the START of summer!

and it was DADS day today...

my dads better than your dad! haha boo.

anyways... i read in the BBC today about a suicide bombing, in Iraq. it killed 23 people and injured 36. i dont really want to expland on it, but if you want just click on the BBC link to read about it more. its in the headlines.

well i'm jsut going to say that i am SO excited for summer i'm getting crazies in my stomach right now as i speak. and you all should be too. also, nora got a blog, so READ it! its gonna be a good one let me tell ya! haha i love dat girl.
alright peace out homies

fur=death

i read that the new fur trend these days in the fashion industry is a new type of fur called 'broadtail'. it comes from baby karakul lambs, because it is very soft and curly, and looks just amazing on a model walking down the runway, and also JLo.

usually this type of lamb fur becomes less valuable as the lamb gets older, because it gets stringy and straightens out, which means everyone wants the lambs to be as young as possible. this results in either slaughtering these lambs after maybe only one or two days of life, and sometimes even slitting the mothers throat to take the premature lamb right out of her fetus. of course they wait until the mother lamb has had up to four or five babies killed a day after they are born, and THEN they decide that they can just kill her for her fetus because they are done with her and can also use her fur for other uses.

the point i'm getting across here is that animals arent for fashion! animals are not for experimenting or entertainment either! there is no excuse and you should all do your part in not supporting these things. brands like these: Ralph Lauren, Fendi, Prada, Dolce & Gabbana, and Jean-Paul Gaultier, THEY are the brands using this fur. i know we all love them but what they are doing is wrong.

if you have time to read this and go out to the movies, then you have time to care about whats actually going on here...

block

Update: Check out the new links on the sidebar. LEARN SOMETHING.

"nicole is sad"

click to see bigger.

your love is a slow song, it's resounding through my world again.
my heart is in motion, for the song inside of you.

Edit: it's copeland. COPELAND. for the love. it is not coldplay. i do not, i repeat, do NOT, as in NOT, listen to coldplay. and by this i mean, i DO NOT LISTEN TO COLDPLAY. it's COPELAND.

raining

this type of rain makes me want to have someone
to run around in it with.

hearrrt?

i'm waiting for blood
to flow to my fingers...

"my eyes cast low 'cause i don't know how to love"

random summer

do you like heart shaped hands as much as i do? and walking home late on a cold night? and when you finally step inside your nose is as red as the sunrise... do you like to hear the words 'i love you' when in a disarray of thoughts and find yourself repeating those same words to collect yourself? and do you really think it will last forever? it seems as though the only forever is after you're dead and gone...