when your gone

blinding our hearts with their shining lies

i am living,
and by living i mean breathing
literally, in and out
the air it comes and goes.

not just existing,
like a soulless outline
of a dark silhouette,
against a white colored world.

i am alive,
and by alive i mean dead
dead, from living in fear
living in fear of death itself.

"take notice, take interest, take me with you..."

ps;nora you can date me cuz i'm soo good enough...

han-son

the weekend actually seems like its lasted forever, but its only a normal three day weekend. i definitely havent gotten up any earlier than 1:00pm and have consumed as much starbucks as possible, causing me to get to sleep no earlier than again, 1:00 in the am. i've managed to see two old friends and spend some time with my greatly missed sister nora, who i love very much and is her birthday in less than two days. she will be able to buy alcohol might i add. i've done some laundry, read some books, and definitely taken some pain killer advil due to a feeling of sickness i've had the past day and a half. i've wondered a great deal where my friend hot sauce has wandered off to. i must have listened to hanson on and off at least seven times a day, painted my nails a clear color, and made myself a new bracelet. what i havent done yet though is hang out with chloe and this is sad...

"well i finally found what i'm looking for
though the road's still long and the light is still far"

jayz

!!!!!!!!!!!!!cheers.

service trip

hey
look at service trip pictures
me and steph rule. hahah

peace.

da C

last nite





well... theres this thing called security... and they DONT FRIGGEN LET YOU TAKE CAMERAS IN THE BUILDING. so of course.... naturally, we obeyed the rules and left our cam cam in the car. so these pictures are nicely donated from google and WE didnt take them, but thats pretty much what we saw! fun times. they rocked the house... and anyone who didnt go to this concert smells... heh heh heh... you know what i'm talkin about. but in the end i must say that i am obsessed with conor. he truly amazes me.
ANYways. i also got a bbbunch of pictures that my dear frend steph gave me from the service trip, purposefully to put on here but i am currently not able to do that. maybe later.
and can i just say that nora you rule? no reason really. but seriously, our conversations are good. <3

"The fabric is about to fray"
ps; anyone who denies their love for hanson, are pretty much silly.

ulimate F bee

wellllllllll... yesterday tori and i went to newmarket high to take pictures of the ULTIMATE frisbee team [theyre not so ultimate...] it was quite fun! most of the pictures are of the same people cuz they were the best playas! haha so yeah. i like them... i'm sharing them. have fun.

so anyways... i'm pretty bored right now in school.... BLAH.


"ebullient, venerate, solicitous, felicitous, risque."

zv

its summa

its finally here

been to toronto all week. i loved it. saw house of wax tonite, sweet ass paris got killed and i almost cried. oh dear...

"so be careful what you see it can mean the end"

morning fuckin glory

i feel like the choking is just getting tighter
around my neck i am trying to breathe
my lungs are as skinny as toothpicks by now
i find it hard but i gasp just to live
and i'm breathing in and out and the pace is getting faster
until i feel like i'm going to pass out
i take off my necklace like that was the problem
but the feeling does not go away
and my lungs do not expand
so my breath does not come back

i see the door as an exit and take the advantage
keeping the light on as if i'll forget my way back
and i leave just for the sake of leaving
i dont go any farther than the next room
but it makes such a difference
and the farther i go the more i can breathe
till i'm miles away and laughing

pigs in heaven

"yes sister, they all would cry. no one doubted she was receiving the spirit. in the years since, Alice, too, has seen the ones who shake and scream and roll their eyes back as if snakebit, but she has always doubted the sincerity of this. anybody can get worked up, if they have the intention. its peacefulness that is hard to come by on purpose."