not our summer

we were always the dreamers that don't sleep. real dreamers. and once again here i am, sleep, cursing  your name as my eyelids twitch but don't close for good. it's a crazy feeling when you think you have to cry and you force that feeling up into your throat but it never comes. i squint my eyes in anticipation... i shudder at the thought of how tired i'll be tomorrow. i wonder how i got to this point. sitting in the chair i've pushed forward to so many others but have never sat myself. i don't feel shame i feel unfamiliar. my neck is twisting 360's trying to get a hold of my surroundings that just hurt me. i'm not even sad i'm just...










that.
i just don't need to cry.

hide hide hide hide hiding it all

is it even possible for someone to love someone and have them also love back?

circa 2000

feeling freaked out and that's why i'm here and that's why this exists and i hate what this all stands for.

i hate what this space of the damn internet means.

i hate that there's a constant reminder of who i really am like the constant reminder on my body.

this is starting to get ridiculous

waiting for the inevitable

why do i do it?

release release release

running out of body parts

what i want is so simple.
at least to me it seems so simple,
in my head.
the sad sad part that i always forget
and should
always remember is that
it's actually not simple at all.
and that is why it is so beautiful.
why can't this beauty be simple?
sometimes i hurt.

bubba.

Don't let them see you cry
When the dam breaks down and the city is covered in water
Cause I believe we fly
When the moon takes shape and I dose off, on your shoulders

I trust that you see it too

So breathe while you're alive
Let the big band play as you tap leather with your fingers
And I tried to write in style
But the words just come and I write them as soon as I see them

And I trust that you write them too
And I trust that you love me too 


manchester orchestra.

hoppipolla

Smiling
Spinning round and round
Holding hands
The whole world a blur
But you are standing

Soaked
Completely drenched
No rubber boots
Running inside us
Want to erupt from a shell

The Wind
An outdoor smell of your hair
I breathe as hard as I can
with my nose

Jump into puddles
With no boots on
Completely drenched(Soaked)
With no boots on

And I get a nosebleed
But I always stand up

And I get a nosebleed
But I always stand up


sigor ros.

pretending i don't exist.

i love what i cannot have. it's mindblowing.

"If you can think of times in your life that you’ve treated people with extraordinary decency and love, and pure uninterested concern, just because they were valuable as human beings. The ability to do that with ourselves.  To treat ourselves the way we would treat a really good, precious friend. Or a tiny child of ours that we absolutely loved more than life itself.  And I think it’s probably possible to achieve that.  I think part of the job we’re here for is to learn how to do it.  I know that sounds a little pious."
-- David Foster Wallace