old times ouch

the morning breaks with no sunlight on my window

so today nicole was quite alone... i had no plans and no motivation to make any, so i had a chillin day at home. started a new book, fell asleep reading it, watched oprah, i also took down at least a hundred pictures from my wall that have been there for FAR too long, eh nora? haha so yeah they are so old!! i picked out a few to scan and put on here cuz lookin at them all brought back some good times.

haha oh trish. grade nine

kaitlin foley and i once ruled the world

look at our hair! damn

ohmy goodness look at how long our hair is. and we thought our juices were cool? haha

pimpin me and trish

lena is so cute! ahh i'm just a loser

haha! my favourite ever. andrea being the king and me bein her size. ohh too good

i also did something pretty gross, i put my old earings back in, that are about four sizes too big. there was some blood and i liked it? haha i dont know whyyy i did it but i DID! oh well, i am crazy. the good news is that tomorrow and the rest of the week i will be busy, so i wont be bored enough to do anything else crazy like that.

peace all.

but if i built you a city, would you let me?
would you tear it down?
but there you go for the last time
i finally know now what i should have known then
that i could still be ruthless
if you let me

partay

and i think i, i could use a little break. today was a good day.

+ racing to ryans, i so won
+ staying up ALL nite
+ coming out of the tent way different than we were going in
+ dee, my wife. acutally she deserves a whole list on her OWN!
+ joel had no shirt on all nite?
+ deandra bell has beautiful teeth, we're gonna trade
+ mine and fenns heart to heart talks
+ sleeping in my car, with rebekah
+ "EVERYTHING josh says is sooo right!!" eh guys?
+ i fell asleep with joel sitting on me, yes my legs still hurt
+ sitting on the bench with erik, josh, and joel on my lap
+ falling OFF the bench and spilling all over deandra
+ andrea hugged me and got me all wettttt
+ sketchy noises from the tents
+ i lost my led zeppelin cd
+ vanessa lost her tank top
+ michael stinks at climbing roofs
+ dee and her crazy cam

the list could go on, i am telling you for days. hahah it would just bore those who don't know what i'm talking about. but happy birthday to josh, erik and leah. who won't even read this.

chloe & i two nights ago

London bridges falling down

i am slipping into the airwaves, the static's where you'll find me

i'm sure some of you have seen these photo's already, or at least heard about what happened today, but i just needed to say something about it for those who aren't as informed. this morning there were four explosions in London. three on the Underground, and also one on a double-decker bus. this has led to thirty seven deaths and the injuries of hundreds of other innocent citizens.
i read matt good's blog to see his thoughts on this situation because i know he almost always has good ones, and i'd have to agree with what he's said. we shouldn't have to be scared to take a bus or a subway to work, shopping, and just anywhere. but this is what war and terrorism has lead us to be. our world has brought itself to live in fear and it seems like we have no motivation to just step back and see the real problem, whatever you might think that to be... but fighting back in the very same way they are 'terrorising' people, isnt going to do anyone any good. if we call it terrorising when they do it to us then what are we doing to them? exactly...
it really makes me think, and so far this question has bugged me; how come so many die in other third world countries from bombing and other things alike but it doesn't even make the news let alone the front page? it just doesn't seem right to me.

anyways... that is just my rant for today. i'm excited for the rest of this weekend and next week!! i got a certain party to go to, a concert with MIA! and a special adventure to accomplish. should be good! oh and andrea i miss you dammit. hahah

peace

makewar

they constantly change

the rain is chilled as it touches my shoulders

my mind doesn't even care at the moment

i wrap my arm around your waist for a quick goodbye

i'm waiting for the first day of my life

i let my legs loose and fall into the drivers seat

my right foot hurts from the long day

but it is taking me home

the rain sounds painful on my windshield
my eyes itch from staying up too late
i sing every word of the song that is playing
i'm waiting for the first day of my life
and i am stuck inside a chunk of metal
where i feel more free than anywhere else
and it is taking me home

i hardly sleep anymore. i really cant most nights. i either just let myself stay up, or lie in bed uncomfortably for hours but then i get really annoyed. most of the time i dont know what to do.

andrew mcmahon was recently diagnosed with lukemia, hes the lead singer of something corporate and his side project that i really like called jacks mannequin. he cant even sing and has to sit in the hospital for a few months instead of playing his shows. imagine that? not being able to do what you love and are supposed to be doing because of something like cancer. i added a link in the sidebar, you can support the pediatric cancer research foundation there.

summer is treating me well!
peace.

mhm sublime

allo all. i've been keeping myself pretty busy lately and i'm glad. i dont exactly have a job so its always a scare that i will have nothing to do in my day, but i am happy to say that its been an awesome week for the most part. today i chilled downtown with two of my best friends and i couldnt of asked for more. it was good times!

i get into these moods randomly where i'll just be so out-of-it and actually not know whats going on or whats being said in the conversation. i'll come back to someone looking at me as if i'm supposed to answer them, and i just barely get a 'huh?' out. i get so caught up in everything else or start thinking too hard, and it looks like i really dont want to be where i am, but really i'm just not there in my head. i feel bad sometimes for the people i am with when i'm like that. i find alot of times that i think alot, and dont say enough out loud. i would rather listen for some reason. i like to sit and listen and agree when i can. sometimes i dont like that. i went into one of those moods today when i wish i could have snapped out of it. then the rain didnt make it any better. usually i love rain but today's rain was just a little depressing. anyways;

i'd have to say that the quote of the weekend has got to be "so how about them piramids?" haha honestly, funny.

love is, what i got. it's within my reach.

mm

(our evening)

peace&love&happiness to you all

today is july first... well, well, i spent it with AARON! cuz she is my love. its crazy how time goes by and how much shit changes in one year. i am a total different person its insane. we didnt spend this night looking at fireworks, or lying in the grass, or that type of shit. but it was still grand. i hope all of you had an amazing canada day! no matter where you were...
anyways. we are out to go party with...

"and the air is hot, and my SKIN peels off, and i never thought..."

rain rain

rain rain RAIN!

and i left my car windows open...

-cole.

sickwithaaron

last night randy graduated along with many others that i've known since i was a child. that was cool! i also got my hair cut, its short compared to before... boo! haah but yeah its all good. i've been feeling faint lately and it sucks, honestly why is it so damn HOT?! i cant handle it most days... being outside is just too much. but i love the summer and having no school! except for noras dissappeard lately...? jeeez. today i went to aarons because we are both sick losers and all we want to do is complain so we complained to each other about our pains. which made us sound alot like old ladies but we didnt care! we must share the same blood, honestly!
tonight i was very very itchy so i decided to just sit in water. i.e., take a bath... it was the most relaxing thing i could have ever done. i just lied there and thought about right now. not last year [which i have been doing alot lately], not next week, but right now. i also thought about what right now would be like if certain things were different. like if i was still dancing i would have been at a recital and leaving next week for nashville... and other things like that.
i thought about writing so i brought my notebook with me but realized shortly that i didnt really need to or want to, i just wanted to think. it was good to do because i havent done it like that in a while but it also made me realize some things that i... i dont know!
it also woke me up, hence me being here at one something in the morning. i guess that isnt unusual. it did cure my itchiness though so i will be going to bed now. i've been updating alot lately... boo. gnite...

grammas

treee

me and aaron are

i got lost in a forest of feelings so grand, that i stood there in awe and watched the sun reflect veins onto my skin, from the trees cold branches waiting for their color to come back... and i dreamt about your hands and how they hold these arms so tight and never let go. i let myself be vulnerable to the nature i'm in, and became a blank canvas to be used for whatever the sun wishes. now the sun sets and the shadows disappear and i feel new and clean and invisible.

"i, feel sick to my stomach." - me

la la

"where are we?
what the hell is going on?
the dust has only just began to fall
crop circles in the carpet
sinking, feeling
spin me around again
and rub my eyes
this can't be happening"

-imogen heap


ps; watch i <3 huckabees

seals

look at how gorgeous they are

but... right how as we speak these beautiful baby seals are being tortured. the Canadian government is allowing a hunt killing up to 350,000 of them. statistics say that this is more than one third of what is being born, and the largest number of seals killed since at least half a century. am i the only one that thinks this is wrong? i mean, for me its not just the fact that they are fully being used for their... skin. its just the way these heartless men can whack them in the head without a second thought. am i crazy for thinking that they are crazy? how is our government allowing this?

on a lighter note. today i went to school even though i wasnt supposed to! haha but it was to finish yearbook so its all good. in general i guess i had a good day... its almost done and that is very very exciting for us yearbook nerds. !! oh and i also jazzed up toris blog so take a look at that. [i should get a prize for advertisment!]

its also World Refugee Day. we have a wonderful home to go back to every night, they dont. think about it.

i wish you all a goodnite...

"now i can't breathe. no, i can't sleep. i'm barely hanging on..."

weekend with aaron

this weekend has been a rockin good time. school is officially over for me, no more worries. on saterday aaron the boy and i hung out, and we had a crazy good time!!
look at pictures HERE! its a must! haha theres alot i mite add... and this is just the START of summer!

and it was DADS day today...

my dads better than your dad! haha boo.

anyways... i read in the BBC today about a suicide bombing, in Iraq. it killed 23 people and injured 36. i dont really want to expland on it, but if you want just click on the BBC link to read about it more. its in the headlines.

well i'm jsut going to say that i am SO excited for summer i'm getting crazies in my stomach right now as i speak. and you all should be too. also, nora got a blog, so READ it! its gonna be a good one let me tell ya! haha i love dat girl.
alright peace out homies

fur=death

i read that the new fur trend these days in the fashion industry is a new type of fur called 'broadtail'. it comes from baby karakul lambs, because it is very soft and curly, and looks just amazing on a model walking down the runway, and also JLo.

usually this type of lamb fur becomes less valuable as the lamb gets older, because it gets stringy and straightens out, which means everyone wants the lambs to be as young as possible. this results in either slaughtering these lambs after maybe only one or two days of life, and sometimes even slitting the mothers throat to take the premature lamb right out of her fetus. of course they wait until the mother lamb has had up to four or five babies killed a day after they are born, and THEN they decide that they can just kill her for her fetus because they are done with her and can also use her fur for other uses.

the point i'm getting across here is that animals arent for fashion! animals are not for experimenting or entertainment either! there is no excuse and you should all do your part in not supporting these things. brands like these: Ralph Lauren, Fendi, Prada, Dolce & Gabbana, and Jean-Paul Gaultier, THEY are the brands using this fur. i know we all love them but what they are doing is wrong.

if you have time to read this and go out to the movies, then you have time to care about whats actually going on here...

block

Update: Check out the new links on the sidebar. LEARN SOMETHING.

"nicole is sad"

click to see bigger.

your love is a slow song, it's resounding through my world again.
my heart is in motion, for the song inside of you.

Edit: it's copeland. COPELAND. for the love. it is not coldplay. i do not, i repeat, do NOT, as in NOT, listen to coldplay. and by this i mean, i DO NOT LISTEN TO COLDPLAY. it's COPELAND.

raining

this type of rain makes me want to have someone
to run around in it with.

hearrrt?

i'm waiting for blood
to flow to my fingers...

"my eyes cast low 'cause i don't know how to love"

random summer

do you like heart shaped hands as much as i do? and walking home late on a cold night? and when you finally step inside your nose is as red as the sunrise... do you like to hear the words 'i love you' when in a disarray of thoughts and find yourself repeating those same words to collect yourself? and do you really think it will last forever? it seems as though the only forever is after you're dead and gone...

when your gone

blinding our hearts with their shining lies

i am living,
and by living i mean breathing
literally, in and out
the air it comes and goes.

not just existing,
like a soulless outline
of a dark silhouette,
against a white colored world.

i am alive,
and by alive i mean dead
dead, from living in fear
living in fear of death itself.

"take notice, take interest, take me with you..."

ps;nora you can date me cuz i'm soo good enough...

han-son

the weekend actually seems like its lasted forever, but its only a normal three day weekend. i definitely havent gotten up any earlier than 1:00pm and have consumed as much starbucks as possible, causing me to get to sleep no earlier than again, 1:00 in the am. i've managed to see two old friends and spend some time with my greatly missed sister nora, who i love very much and is her birthday in less than two days. she will be able to buy alcohol might i add. i've done some laundry, read some books, and definitely taken some pain killer advil due to a feeling of sickness i've had the past day and a half. i've wondered a great deal where my friend hot sauce has wandered off to. i must have listened to hanson on and off at least seven times a day, painted my nails a clear color, and made myself a new bracelet. what i havent done yet though is hang out with chloe and this is sad...

"well i finally found what i'm looking for
though the road's still long and the light is still far"

jayz

!!!!!!!!!!!!!cheers.

service trip

hey
look at service trip pictures
me and steph rule. hahah

peace.

da C

last nite





well... theres this thing called security... and they DONT FRIGGEN LET YOU TAKE CAMERAS IN THE BUILDING. so of course.... naturally, we obeyed the rules and left our cam cam in the car. so these pictures are nicely donated from google and WE didnt take them, but thats pretty much what we saw! fun times. they rocked the house... and anyone who didnt go to this concert smells... heh heh heh... you know what i'm talkin about. but in the end i must say that i am obsessed with conor. he truly amazes me.
ANYways. i also got a bbbunch of pictures that my dear frend steph gave me from the service trip, purposefully to put on here but i am currently not able to do that. maybe later.
and can i just say that nora you rule? no reason really. but seriously, our conversations are good. <3

"The fabric is about to fray"
ps; anyone who denies their love for hanson, are pretty much silly.

ulimate F bee

wellllllllll... yesterday tori and i went to newmarket high to take pictures of the ULTIMATE frisbee team [theyre not so ultimate...] it was quite fun! most of the pictures are of the same people cuz they were the best playas! haha so yeah. i like them... i'm sharing them. have fun.

so anyways... i'm pretty bored right now in school.... BLAH.


"ebullient, venerate, solicitous, felicitous, risque."

zv

its summa

its finally here

been to toronto all week. i loved it. saw house of wax tonite, sweet ass paris got killed and i almost cried. oh dear...

"so be careful what you see it can mean the end"

morning fuckin glory

i feel like the choking is just getting tighter
around my neck i am trying to breathe
my lungs are as skinny as toothpicks by now
i find it hard but i gasp just to live
and i'm breathing in and out and the pace is getting faster
until i feel like i'm going to pass out
i take off my necklace like that was the problem
but the feeling does not go away
and my lungs do not expand
so my breath does not come back

i see the door as an exit and take the advantage
keeping the light on as if i'll forget my way back
and i leave just for the sake of leaving
i dont go any farther than the next room
but it makes such a difference
and the farther i go the more i can breathe
till i'm miles away and laughing

pigs in heaven

"yes sister, they all would cry. no one doubted she was receiving the spirit. in the years since, Alice, too, has seen the ones who shake and scream and roll their eyes back as if snakebit, but she has always doubted the sincerity of this. anybody can get worked up, if they have the intention. its peacefulness that is hard to come by on purpose."

flask

"this is the first day of my life
i swear i was born right in the doorway
i went out in the rain suddenly everything changed
they're spreading blankets on the beach
yours is the first face that i saw
i think i was blind before i met you
now i don't know where i am
i don't know where i've been
but i know where i want to go
and so i thought i'd let you know
that these things take forever
i especially am slow
but i realize that i need you
and i wondered if i could come home"

'- the greatest man alive'

safari

dignity and money

the secret that i only know
the secret that i have
fourteen days marks the time of release
and it will no longer be a secret
although the weather is just starting to change
december never seemed so close
and warm

nora

wemetconnor

vain

so i'm drinking, breathing, writing, singing

everyday up on the clock

my mind races with all my longings

but cant keep up with what i got

i hope i don't sound too ungrateful

what history gave modern man

the telephone to talk to strangers

machine guns and the camera lens

jam-packed long weekend. it was awesome.
peace hotties...

you?will.

considering the circumstances
i'm doing the best i can
and i've always tried my hardest
in this spin we seem to go around
with everything they've done to make this
so much harder to stand
i say i give myself an A for effort
we all know it could have been much worse
it makes me want to shrivel up
become a puddle in the rain
just write 'The End' across my forehead
you know i quit life everyday?
and you know you cant do both
you are not strong
therefore you are weak
and weak just doesnt cut it in this world

we should just wish the snow was ice cream
and the dirt on top was chocolate
weather
doesnt have to be so damn depressing

bazilin

let me re-introduce maself...

today has got to be the worst weather ever... i hate it. why cant it just be SUMMER already! oh well.

and from the sidelines
you see me run
until i'm out of breath.
living the good life
i left for dead
the sorrowful midwest.

well i did my best
to keep my head...

it was grass stained jeans and incompletes
and a girl from class to touch.
but you think about yourself too much
and you ruin who you love.
well all these claims at consciousness
my stray dog freedom,
let's have a nice clean cut
like a bag we buy and divvy up.

-conor

i'm doin the best i can...