serena

i'm so an aunt in less than two months

ps; dont forget about the clocks

laaa

swim with the fishes...

pretty much... watch out.

uh... just me.

a winding road gives faith

A Winding Road Gives Faith

One star shines above
the heads of children, spraying its
rays of north through the sky,
sea blue and dark.

Like rabbits in the night
their eyes burn bright;
but run away from
headlights that are their Fate.

Oh moon! Oh stars! Oh rock
that plays his role of holding up
the loveless. They sit and stare.

All silence! Bring your righteous
being among their hearts that
are so loud. They don't know how.


Coffee burns the ripe lips of
adolescence, holding cigarettes -- such
poison! Under the star that
reminds them they are of course,

alone: like hair of different
length and color, eyes of different
size; they were so much
wider when they were Pure.

Innocence! Come like a breeze
from childhood homes, instill in them
what they once had and lost.

They yearn for your child-like presence,
to close their eyes and clean
their mind and give them trust.


Can they fail to put their faith
into what is vast and noble?
An echo of the lightning's thunder, a
promise for rain from above...

Jaws of sharks can't bite too hard to
break these bones; religious
tongue can't overcome all of their
doubt. They cannot hear.

They dream of freedom from this
Fate, run like stampedes from a
fire. Stars! Give them light, they are

in darkness. Among the millions like
themselves, swarm of flies around
the food, they are alone in their heartbreak.


The smell of another winter
congests the air of an October. Beasts
of illusion wait at their bedside,
infecting their sheets -- so cold!

Oh warmth of hopeful youth,
sit beside us on this rock. The
screams of birds soar from our
hearts; they try too hard to fly.

Lyrics of distrust assume the worst
of us, accuse us of false calamity; we
were only hiding from ourselves.

Our hearts ache, we have lost our
god. All rays of starlight, ignite the

corals of this sea, daybreak is near.

-nicolesimmen

RMR

falling stars

do you remember still the falling stars
that like swift horses through the heavens raced
and suddenly leaped across the hurdles
of our wishes--do you recall? and we
did make so many! for there were countless numbers
of stars: each time we looked above we were
astounded by the swiftness of their daring play,
while in our hearts we felt safe and secure
watching these brilliant bodies disintegrate,
knowing somehow we had survived their fall.

- Rainer Maria Rilke

owe

Just one minute ago
I had quarters, four
They were worth something, yes
But they are gone

Now I sit here annoyed
I am still hungry, my stomach
All because of the V.M., yes
It is a thief

Three minutes to go
I can get out of this room, hot
My throat it hurts, yes
I am in pain

saterdays

slightly removed

so for the past few weeks i've been chillin with the baxter family, that came from australia to visit pete. it was good times showing them around... ontario... haha. heres some pics!! they left today to go back to australia and i'm sure gonna miss them! and i cant wait to go visit you guys there when we do.

so yeah other than that i've just been trying to keep up with school and work. i've been doing okay so far but i'm currently coming down with a sickness that causes a really really sore throat, sneezing, and sniffing. thanksgiving is tomorrow i'm so excited for all the food!!

peace&love losers

xtopher

and then he held up his right hand and spread his fingers out in a fan, and i held up my left hand and spread my fingers out in a fan and we made our fingers and thumbs touch each other.

poem

i made

my way to

the living room

where i

drank to love

to the full moon

the cup

was empty

and so was i

i fell

hit my head

and closed my eyes

i woke

the next day

my stomach hurt

the note

in my hand

read: july first

so i was busy with tons of homework tonight and thank goodness i didnt have work. although, i got it all done and still did this little drawing and am now gonna go fall asleep reading.

have a good night all, cheers.

terrry

it's just that it's delicate

[ terry fox run ]

today was a chillen day, i loved it. but i'm so so tired and workin NINE TO FIVE tomorow, so i'm gonna get to bed. hope you enjoy the pictures, i sure do.

ps; i've never left a calculater in a bathroom before...

atmosphere

when soul meets body

I wish we could open our eyes

To see in all directions at the same time

I did not know your house was lying, your house did not know me. Thank god for locks on doors and stereos that play past volume twelve because that's where young souls hide. Just lock the door, just turn it up, just watch the fireworks.
The only good that has come out of this are a few more emo songs to add to our collection and maybe a picture or two.

you

maybe i dont wanna know

stare into my wall

i'm so beyond tired that i feel sick and this is currently hurting my whole body, including my heart.

a couple days ago was one of the worst days ever. at least on the top five list. and it just kept getting worse. now your prolly thinking that i'm going to expand about how my hair didnt sit right or maybe i broke a nail. but no. in fact, i'm not going to expand at all. forget i even said that.

sometimes i feel like i need to explode. or implode. whatever comes to mind first. mostly exploding because i can feel the pressure inside my body slowly expanding and making me feel like my eyes are going to pop out if i dont just let go.

when i lie down and look up i can sometimes see things float across my eye and when i try to follow it it just goes downward until i cant see it and i have to wait for it to make its way back up again. they remind me of jellyfish or something oceanlike. i then wonder if its because i have contacts and if i'm the only one that does this. i just recently read that kurt cobain did the same thing, did he wear contacts?

i find myself wondering that a whole lot. [if anyone else feels what i feel or does what i do] i've come to the conclusion that i have some kind of need for reassurance that i'm some what normal. but i'd rather just have a little thought in the back of my mind that i'm totally not. that is much more fun.

i stink at school and i need the weekend.

ps; i've decided to stop because its exactly midnight and i think it'd be cool to post at exactly midnite. goodnight.

short forms

but even that's not real

so i've started school and its alright, i guess. actually not really but hey what can ya do. the first weekend of it has been so wicked though.


i went shopping with my dad and got some cool stuff and he took this with his phone haha.

i chilled with aaron johnny and pete friday nite/saterday morning. ch ch check it OUT. i made a new pictures page to start fresh cause the other one was gettin sloow, but you can still see the old ones by clicking 'more pictures' near the top. anyways, as you could see, we went to BULK barn the store of my life and got insane amounts of candy and ringolossss!! we then went to boston pizza and then to the movies where we snuck our candy in but was too full to eat any of it anyways. we saw the exorcism of emily rose against aarons and petes will [they are chick-ens] haha but it was good i guess? just kind of disturbing of course, as that is what posessed people are... anyhow they both survived so we went back to my house and ate so much of the candy! oh good times. i then fell asleep cause i was so tired. we also went to the driving range this morning, oh i just keep getting worse! ahhh but not as bad as aaron hahah

work today was so awesome! first of all i dont require any bandages around my leg anymore cause my poison ivy is almost gone [ok lets all just scream of happiness can we?] so i can actually bend down to a bottom shelf without it being so awkward! yayyyyy, happiness. aaaalllso there was this band that played there tonite. it was the coolest thing ever, the main guy played really really amazing guitar and had a bassist drummer and another guitarist accomanying him. they were really amazing and three dollars of the proceeds of each cd they sold when to some children foundation so that was nice. they were cool guys. so that made three hours at the end of my shift go by really smoothly.

so now that the poison ivy is finally leaving i am coming down with some sort of throat cold thingy. i have an itch in my throat and have the feeling of sneezing constantly lurking in my nose. baaaah. i'm tired,

peaceoutty

"hs hs hs, omg, tnx, tote."

bah

I'M IN A MOOD LIKE NO OTHER!!

for a number of reasons, one being deandra bell.
i just get excited when i see her!

ps; this was extremely spontanious, and will stay that way.

dont talk dont talk

dont talk dont talk

i had a dream last night that i was at some cow farm and i was just about to leave but the farmer ran after me yelling at me to come back. so i did and when i went back into the barn there was a cow with a bow around its ear and a number one written on its head and the farmer was like 'i'm giving you this cow!' and i was like 'is this the best milk cow you've got?' and he was like 'yes yes of course thats why theres a number one on its head!' and then it was just this big close-up of the cow for like ten minutes and it kinda looked cartoonish but it was real.
i'd like to see what those dream interpreters think of THAT.

yesterday/last night was the most randomest thing ever. aaron and i visited Btown [thats barrie for all you brampton people] because barrie rules. we went shopping and at this one store there was this crazy australian guy that was helping us with shoes. we must have stayed at the mall for over four hours, at least.
then we decided to go to this wicked-cool party. anyone whos ANYONE was there! talk about a gooood tiiiime! i saw rachel my love and that was great. i kicked aaron in the chin really really hard by accident. i also made sure mr.taxi man new rebekah's name and that he would drive her home very safely.

now i'm going to go get ready for work.

ps; i still have poison ivy. i'm willing to infect anyone who decides they'd like to experience it.

bf5

selfless cold and reposed

as most of you know we had a little get together this past friday nite. i have finally found time to scan some pictures and they are now available to SEE. haha it was good times i must say. thanks to those who came out and didnt totally eff up my house and stayed in the morning to help put stuff away. its all for you...

my job is fun, i am busy with either that or friends, so i'm lovin this summer. unfortunately it all has to end in friggen less than a week! i could die just thinking of it... but it IS my last year and i'm so looking forward to making it crazy with all of you sexy people. mmmmlove.

we got a new blender and it makes damn good smoothies and we have a book on smoothies where it gives directions to a bunch of crazy colorful ones. so we wanted to make one that was PURPLE! that required going shopping for grape juice and blackberries cause we didnt have any, so thats what we did. but it was the funniest adventure ever cause no one knows what blackberries are! what the hell? ohhh that smoothie was rich, so good. i also watched zoolander for the first time and i think its pretty jokes! so now i'm in on all the zoolander conversations. go me.

whats new?;

nicole has poison ivy

she also has a haircut

bangs anyone?

and yep so thats pretty much it!

peace&lovin

forget

lets just forget

so last night i went with the boys once again where they played at the barrie event center. check out the pics, theyre the hottest ones yet. they also played so very good, but apparently not good enough... uhm anyways.

i also went back to the driving range yesterday. but bad news; i got worse! damn i thought going again would make me all pro but NO, i officially suck at golf. but thats ok its still tons of fun! haha. and tonight is going to be a very good night. dont worry parents, i'm sure you know we are very responsible and you have nothing to worry about! heart you.

so i just wanted to show people the new pictures i'm quite happy with, i'll catch yeh all later.

peace&love,

wow so busy

bad habits are too easy

it seems like its been so long since i've been on here, i guess it has, but no i definitely havent quit and if i did i would say instead of just stop posting. i've been seriously busy lately this is actually the first time i've been by myself long enough to even think about going on the computer. heres some news; nicole is now employed! yes yes, laugh all you want, but i AM getting paid for DOING something! wooooooo. go me. so i've gotten back from work a while ago and i keep realizing how wierd it is to say, "i've just finished work" or "i'm working till two tomorrow". its so hilarious coming from my own thoughts, i need to get used to it still. hahah. i'm funny.

last thursday i went to the el mocambo to see johns band play, it was so fun i loved it. so many people i hadnt seen in forever were there. then i went all the way to pennsylvania with the TWF guys and then ALL the way back the next day for a show in guelph. where i might add i saw hello kelly and i hadnt seen them in forever so it was good times. it was alot of driving and didnt get home till like two saterday night. they played pretty well.

anyways. i actually dont even have much to say so i'll leave you with a few pictures and love.

i'm not hiding, i'm just buying some time for us to find the back door.

ps; i'm incredibly cool

barrie

living life seperately









for more pictures of the weekend and also the ones i got developed go here! you wont regret it.

we went to barrie on sunday nite to the rock and roll diner and it was chillz times. peter baxter did his thing and everyone loved it including all the little stuffed animals we got from old men. also sat around the steingards house and learned about mannetech and all the lovely things it does for you. i think i want to start taking it in gummy bear form. [hehe] today me and aaron bought a bag of ringolos from bulk barn and put them on the tips of all of our fingers and it made us look like ringolo men and we loved it. also one of my baby lizards died and he got all shrivelled up and looked like a skeleton and when i saw it i screamed but aaron laughed and wanted to keep it. she is so disgusting and so myspace [gay]. but i bet you would all love it because it was my lizard and i named him ana because he looked so skinny and anorexic. today on the way home my tire popped less than a minute away from my house and i had the ghetto experience of having to stand on the side of the road in the middle of the night while my dad changed it for me. its a spare tire that looks like it could be on a tricycle and it was scary driving home with it. which means i have to get up early and take it to the shop so i'm going to go to dream land now. speaking of dreams i had one the other night and it was so awesome and i wanted to make sure i remembered it to tell certain people but then of course when the time came it fully removed itself from my brain, so then i cursed and said that i would start writing all my dreams down cuz that would be a really cool thing to read back on. we should all do it.

gnite.

the faint

eins, zwei, drei, vier, funf, sechs, sieben, acht,
visciouscounterpoperosionrevolution101.

guess what i ate today; a popsicle with bugs in it.
i wish there was a method to my madness. sometimes i love being myself because i get in these things where i think i can conquer the world and do and say anything i want because i am me. i want to be omnipresent. that is what i want. because wherever i am and whatever i'm doing, i usualy want to be somewhere else. and if i was everywhere at once i would be just perfect. when i'm in the car i usualy like it cold so i keep the ac up no matter the weather. goosebumps are cool to look at. it makes me think of how hairy i think my arms are and that leads to other things like how i want to be older and want to travel and end up in a different country and then get tattoos for every place i end up. and then i realize that the light is red and stop as fast as i....... my phone just rang and now i can leave.

amp the fly trap plant called venus and jab a cold fork in the spppppspeaker.

the nite out

paranoiattack

[self-conclusion]

yesterday i went up to w-dot [thats woodbridge for all you jokers out there] and aaron and i hung out doing the usual... ya know, eating, talking, eating, dancing, eating, taking pictures, watched simple life, ate, dressed up, went crazy, ate, drove around, talked to strangers, ate.... so it was a good time! haha and there are pictures to prove it, as you can see. that wasnt even HALF of them...

i'm going to eventually get a job, today is sort of a job day. i'm going to hand out some more resumes and even go to a job fair. talk about productive day nicole, wow. also kind of boring. hopefully it all goes as planned and maybe i'll be able to get some money soon!

i'm just glad i've been pretty busy lately, that is all i care about. although this busy august month means going by really fast and then school coming. .ksagnkghb;ab! that was me tapping aimlessly on the keyboard while thinking about how much that sucks.

"yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion

of self-conclusion in one simplified motion

you see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it

no matter how unbearable this misery gets."

hmmmmyess

i can't find in between

i'm back from the cottage, got back yesterday. it was such good fun and so relaxing, and i got a damn good tan! go me..........
we fished alot and that was so fun, and canoed! i saw a real moose, we caught a baby turtle so we now have another addition to our jungle. i took alot of pictures with film that are yet to be developed so thats good.

i really cant wait for the next harry potter movie to come out, i'm dieing to see it! i have dreams of it! ahhh i'm insane. but really i know yer all thinking the saaaame thing! ;)
last nite i had the experience of cooking marshmallows in a toaster oven, at two in the morning. it couldnt have gotten any better, you all should try it, they were so good! it was the best idea EVER. hahah.

so now that i'm back i need to hang out with alot of you.

ps; i'm going to go read harry potter
second ps; i'm still not over the fact that andreas sista met the jayz
third ps; ummm nora?!#%)*!!>^&

jiggaaa

dont forget that boy told you

sooooo, jay-z was in toronto tonight!! HOLY!! and of course i had a date with my teevee to watch him. there was an hour countdown with so many of his videos, and THENNN the real him, in MY city! it was the coolest thing in the world. i wish i coulda been there. and then andrea was telling me that her sister gets to go to his AFTER PARTY tonite. and she says it like its nothing and happens everyday! like shit..... i almost died. i dont think anyone understands my live for him! hahaha anyways.

this past week has been fun! really relaxing although this morning i was running on about four hours of sleep. i was determined to just stay awake all day too but at around two thirty i lost it and fell into one of the deepest sleeps i've ever had! lasted till about six thirty. i had dreams of harry potter and ex boyfriends... haha but i'm all good and awake now! even though i should be getting some more sleep cause i'm off to bonnie dune tomorrow. hahah well, not exactly, but i'm going to a cottage. for a week.... should be fun? lets hope so!

things i'm excited for. hardxcore day, and the like. seeing andre! grocery shopping. 21-28. the day we finally buy ringolos? haha. the used/alexisonfire/underoath. lifeonjuliets show downtown. shopping. ummm my birthday? hahah! things i'm not excited for.
august nineteenth.

I'm a hustler homey, you a customer crony

Got some, dirt on my shoulder, could you brush it off for me?

self absorbed

faceless

take my endless night walks with you

but i know that you cant

i'm just as tired as anyone else

and you,

you're the worst one of us all

the night you thought you took everything away

you forgot one thing

your hearts still in my back pocket

and i,

i crush it everday

so just take it out on me

break my mirror, use your hands

i know that you can

give me a reason to feel ugly

i know that you can

get out the pictures, burn them fast
i know that you can

i know that you will

you're into short-term satisfaction

so come on in

i'm feeling better and better every minute

and i,

i fake it every time

so just take it out on me

BLUE&YELLOW

nite time counts too

touch

the brokenness inside

as hope and less collide

now nothing is real

sometimes when i'm at my most insane i feel like i am one big run on sentence where i can never get a break to take a breath or even stop for a short time to think about what i'm doing or saying or thinking it just keeps going until i am blue in the face and begging for air i've decided thats how it feels

oh my god there is the biggest bug in this room right now and since the screen is the only light on it keeps screaming into it at full speed and i think i am acutally scared of it i dont want to smack it in case it decides to retaliate cuz seriously its big

everyone should hire The Castle next time they are bored and want to have a good laugh cuz really its sucha funny movie, believe me

daddd

hold nothing back

ps; my stomach makes really loud noises
and sometimes they hurt,
kinda like right now...

attention

princess aurora

[you have my attention]

haven't updated in a long while... things have been pretty awesome though, i'd say. but as alot of you know i don't have a very good memory so i'll stop myself while i'm ahead with the whole 'explaining what i've been up to' paragraph.

dear nora: ummmm, HEY!! ? hahah

but really, summer is going by way too fast. soon jon will be back in BC, nora will be living back in London, and IIII will be in grade twelve, back in my retarded school. BAH, what to do? i dont even know why i'm thinking about this right now because i still have alot of exciting things awaiting to happen this summer. OH well.

oh yeah and harry potter is my life.

good day.

ps; if you havent noticed the picture link, NOTICE IT NOW.

lizard babies

hello dinosaur

so we have nine of these dino's currently running around our house. i am just waiting for them to TAKE OVER! cuz theres millions more coming!! MILLIONS I TELL YOU! ahhhhh. what is going to become of me? i'm living in a jungle! i loveit...

anyways. hahah i slept for one whole hour last nite. GO ME! and i saw charlie and the chocolate factory and it ROCKED MY WORLD! i'm going crazy as you can see. i'm currently living off a coffee, piece of apple and chips... peace&looooovin

if i had a shotgun, know what i'd do?

i'd point that shit straight up at the sky

and shoot heaven on down to you

ps; aaron i miss you already

sleep

banishment!? be merciful, say 'death';

you know it's bad
when you can't even sleep at night
because all you can think about
is when you'll dream again

and i think if you just sing to me
and tell me no lies
stay by my bedside
till i close my eyes
you can see all my mistakes
and my breaks in the daylight
please just stay with me
be with me at night

i'll fight just to prove
that i haven't given up on myself
but all i can think about
is when i'll dream again

and i think if you just sing to me
and tell me no lies
stay by my bedside
till i close my eyes
i'll show you all my mistakes
and my breaks in the daylight
please just stay with me
be with me at night

as for war, i'm makin it
with myself, my mind
and my eyes, tonight
i just want to sleep
sing me my lullaby

-me

today i hung out with the coolest person ever. yes, as surprising as that sounds, it was nora. we made some pretty HOT bracelets and watched our favourite movie! Romeo&Juliet kicks every other movies ass. anyways it was just good times even though i sadly dont have any pictures to show. [man we really need to work on that] "nora, if I stress you out, how do you hang out with anyone else!?"

there's been alot of crazy things going on in my head lately. i really dont even have the energy to get them past my head and out of my mouth, or even on paper/a screen. i'm kind of scared to, like they are gonna come back and bite me in the ass one day or something. talking to one of my friends tonite who was question crazy really got me going, too. i think at the end of my life i just want to be known as someone who people know they can come to me for anything, and that i would do almost anything to help them out. it may not seem like i am that kind of person but i really am. i live off of making other people happy and letting them know that they do mean something to me. it makes me feel good knowing that i can make someone else feel good about themselves. and sometimes i think it gets in the way of making sure i myself am actually happy. i'm gonna stop, i'm going way off into crazyland.

peace&gnite

pate

yesterday was quite the adventurous day...
i have an announcement to make everybody. [jon, i think your gonna like this]
I, WENT, GOLFING!! hahaha yes yes nicole had a golf club, thingy, in her hands!! i didnt exactly play a game i guess but i still went to the driving range and hit some past the 100 sign thing. i think i did pretty well! haha and it was also extremely hot out. i saw the movie hide & seek and it was pretty scary actually. i love dakota fanning, people! and i think shes the hottest thing arounnnd [haha aaron]
and to top the day off, on the way home at like two in the morning, i get a speeding ticket! my first one. and it was probably one of the scariest things ever. and then the police man didnt even call me by my REAL NAME after spending over a half an hour looking at my license and writing me the ticket, he calls me melissa. what an idiot! anyways, i'm so not doing that again... speeding that is. heh heh
i am now realising i have nothing relevant to say. except for that my grandma is here from the states and she is good jokes, i'm lovin her! and i'm in the craziest situation right now... oh well. haha peace till next time.

edit; i have this shitcam that i got like back in grade eight or so and it fully stopped working lately. but today it decided to be nice! ... for about five minutes. then it had enough and shut down. but i took some still...

"its night but i can't stay asleep like you do, straight through till morning when you pour my coffee and say, baby all that caffeine causes bad dreams where all your anxieties are unleashed."

-conor