disappointment baby

It's okay to be my disappointment baby

this past sunday i watched the notebook. seriously love that movie i dont CARE how cheesy that sounds! i also hardly slept at alll and am very tired yet i dont let myself go to sleep. i am turning seventeen next saterday and that is pretty exciting. it kind of sounds a little older than stupid ol' sixteen eh? haha... last nite we went to jack astors and my mom came late, so while she wasnt there we told the waitress it was her birthday. it really wasnt, but hey it was hilarious and we got free ice cream. its a seriously fun thing to do, DO IT SOMETIME! and to the one who understands: ana is pregnant with a LOT of babies...

theres nothing you can do to make a difference
because theres nothing i can do to even understand
i'm like an ocean whose tide has gone down so low
that i'm striving to keep myself moist enough to go on
but still drowning away in my own self affliction
and trying to find reason
but i'm numb and expressionless
and cant even make myself laugh for the hell of it
the least i can do is wake up in the morning
and make myself pretty to impress no one at all
walk down the halls with no look on my face
but a cold stare forward in no apperent direction
its the pain that keeps me going
the pain of nothing at all
i hate how my own life to me is answerless
arent i supposed to be the one knowing
what i got going on?



( i'm just a boat on the ocean, and i'm just a ship lost at sea. )