dying

who's gonna watch me die?

i just burnt my tongue on tea. it's two thirty eight in the morning and i am burning my tongue on tea. for two days straight i have watched the full first season of House on dvd. i don't know if it has made me miserable or happy, but i AM addicted to that show regardless. on the way to work i heard the song Sarah Says by Death Cab and i forgot about how fucking awesome it is. me and the song had a moment. but then i thought about the fact that every episode in House deals with someone dying and i'm pretty much watching the hardest thing that could ever happen in someones life, over and over and over again. but it's on tv. but it actually happens. and the song is about watching someone die, and how love is watching someone die. and then i realized that i've never really had a close experience with someone dying. i've had people that i love around me die, but i've never watched someone die. and then i think about the line, love is watching someone die. well fuck, i never want to watch someone die. and fuck, i never want to watch someone that i love die.

listen to that song and have a moment with it like i did.

"it stung like a violent wind; that our memories depend on a faulty camera in our minds."